This $28M Upper East Side multi-townhouse-garden-pool megamansion compound is not like the others

6sqft has reported on the townhouse combo mega-mansion phenomenon before, such as when Roman Abramovich clashed with the DOB over a set of Upper East Side townhouses and when Sarah Jessica Parker and the unrelated but also loaded Sean Parker dropped a bundle on their respective two-and three-fers; now another stunning double scoop of insane townhouse living just hit the market at 166 East 81st Street and 179 East 80th Street (just down the street from Madonna’s triple Georgian townhouse compound). The two contiguous houses comprise 8,000 square feet of gorgeous 1899 historic details and uptown opulence for the appropriately uptown ask of $28 million. Unlike those other Siamese townhouse siblings, though, these bad boys are adjoined back-to-back through a private 74-foot two-tiered landscaped garden with a swimming pool. Take that, Madonna.

This double-house compound goes beyond your average side-by-side townhouses in about 28 million ways. First, as we mentioned, they’re joined back to back, so nobody needs to know that greedy you needs two houses instead of one like everybody else. And even what’s in between the two homes–that 74-foot tiered garden-pool-tropical paradise–is the sort of thing you don’t expect to find in the middle of Manhattan, ever. Altogether it adds up to almost 10,000 square feet of living space. And if you need even more space–say, 843 acres–Central Park is just a few blocks away.

If an eccentric family’s sprawling English country estate were to land on the Upper East Side, it would probably look a lot like what we’re seeing here. The four-story front house on East 81st Street has all of its original period details, from crown moldings to hardwood floors. On the parlor floor, the elegant formal drawing room leads through to a completely amazing emerald green dining room with a wood-burning fireplace and French doors leading to a balcony overlooking the really beyond belief garden.

On the ground floor is a large Clive Christian kitchen with Viking and SubZero appliances. Next to that is a seriously vermillion living area with another wood-burning fireplace.

Upstairs are five bedrooms including a master bedroom with en suite bath, fireplace and dressing room. Grandfather’s study is up here too, plus four-and-a-half baths and three additional wood-burning fireplaces. There is also a finished basement with a laundry room and a full bath.

Over at the back house on East 80th Street is where all the fun happens. The home was renovated as a guesthouse and entertaining space–and it certainly is. Whimsical jungle cats watch from the walls above the gorgeous herringbone floors in the living room on the parlor floor, which also has a custom designed bar.

The living room opens to a dramatic crimson billiards room with more herringbone and a wood-burning fireplace, all of which lead to a romantic covered loggia overlooking the pool and garden.

On the ground floor of this right-out-of-a-Wes-Anderson-movie party pad is an Italian tiled updated kitchen with more Viking and SubZero and a garden-side dining room that seats 20 guests comfortably and at least 50 after a few hearty rounds of punch.

A master bedroom suite with a wood-burning fireplace is accessible through its own separate entrance under the stoop. In its current configuration, there are two more guest rooms on the third floor with a shared en suite bath.

On the fourth floor there is serious tranquility to be found among all the zebras and cheetahs and vermillion and Clive Christian in the form of a gorgeous ballet/yoga studio with a wood-burning fireplace, a fitness room, a sauna, a steam room and a full bath.

At the top of the back house is perhaps the best spot of all (but who could really choose?): a rooftop atrium with a wet bar and two terraces. Both buildings have central air and state-of-the-art security systems with video surveillance, of course. Who wouldn’t want to steal this place?

The outside is as amazing as the inside here. A completely otherworldly 2,000 square-foot tiered garden connects the two houses with both northern and southern exposures. Its amenities (Here, the amenity has amenities) include a grilling area and a heated outdoor pool equipped with a Swim Jet (we’re not really sure what that is but it completely belongs here).

Says the listing, “This exceptional compound offers the expansiveness and comfort of country living in the heart of the Upper East Side.” Let’s just call that an understatement. We’ll take it.

[Listing: 166 East 81st Street by Leighton Candler, Melinda Dubow and Jennifer Reardon for Corcoran Group]

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Images courtesy of Corcoran Group.